Sometimes, for some unknown reason, we fall away from our spiritual lives for a time. When we look up from whatever has been distracting us from our relationships with the Gods, it feels as though everything has withdrawn from us. I call those moments "Fallow" periods.
I have them every few years. Suddenly other matters take far more importance. Whether it be a job, one's family, or one's own health, life shifts perspectives. It's part of growth, even if it feels awfully imbalanced at times.
I've been fallow for a few months now, off and on. I even considered becoming an Atheist.
But now Imbolc is almost upon us, and I find myself coming back up for the oh-so-divine Air. I went through my books on Paganism, Magic and all that, and cleaned up my collection. I'll clean up, give away, and donate a good portion of my things before Imbolc is over. Yet, somehow it seems we always have Too Much Stuff! (and I do this twice a year.)
But that leans too far away from what all these words are supposed to be highlighting.
One of the great benefits of working through one's home and giving away some of what you find, is the absolute gems that you may discover in the process.
Today I found some notes on Hekate from 2006, when I was first finding Her Presence in my life. Reading one of the hymns I wrote in those notes, I immediately felt the surge of Presence and Being that has been missing.
It probably didn't hurt that in order to find these notes, I had to disassemble and reassemble my bedroom Shrine to Hekate. I won't discount the importance of a good altar-cleansing.
But I thought I'd share these very rough early musings on the Goddess of Earth, Sea, and Sky.
Torches held high to give light to the Night!
Guide me beyond the mire of today.
Help me to see the traps that I lay.
Send me your hounds.
Show me the way.
For you are the Keybearer of all Sacred Ways.
With your triple-formed frame!
Show me the devotions to be done in your name.
Give me the visions.
Give me the sight.
Guide me, O Goddess, through the night of my life.
Too many choices
Or else too few.
Show me the way which I should choose.
Leader of the Pack!
Teach me the Paths.
There's enough there that I would change these days that I see there to recognize my growth. I would never ask Hekate to choose for me now. She has taught me that the Choice is mine and will always be mine, and that my courage to face the consequences and to accept responsibility is central to how to live in this world.
And recognizing that I've grown and become a better person as a direct result of Her influence in my life might just be what did the trick.