Losing Momentum and Finding It Anew

Sometimes, for some unknown reason, we fall away from our spiritual lives for a time. When we look up from whatever has been distracting us from our relationships with the Gods, it feels as though everything has withdrawn from us. I call those moments "Fallow" periods.

I have them every few years. Suddenly other matters take far more importance. Whether it be a job, one's family, or one's own health, life shifts perspectives. It's part of growth, even if it feels awfully imbalanced at times.

I've been fallow for a few months now, off and on. I even considered becoming an Atheist.

But now Imbolc is almost upon us, and I find myself coming back up for the oh-so-divine Air. I went through my books on Paganism, Magic and all that, and cleaned up my collection. I'll clean up, give away, and donate a good portion of my things before Imbolc is over. Yet, somehow it seems we always have Too Much Stuff! (and I do this twice a year.)

But that leans too far away from what all these words are supposed to be highlighting.

One of the great benefits of working through one's home and giving away some of what you find, is the absolute gems that you may discover in the process.

Today I found some notes  on Hekate from 2006, when I was first finding Her Presence in my life. Reading one of the hymns I wrote in those notes, I immediately felt the surge of Presence and Being that has been missing.

It probably didn't hurt that in order to find these notes, I had to disassemble and reassemble my bedroom Shrine to Hekate. I won't discount the importance of a good altar-cleansing.

But I thought I'd share these very rough early musings on the Goddess of Earth, Sea, and Sky.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Hail Hekate! 
Bright-coiffed
Torches held high to give light to the Night!
Guide me beyond the mire of today.
Help me to see the traps that I lay.
Send me your hounds.
Show me the way. 
For you are the Keybearer of all Sacred Ways. 


Hail Hekate! 
With your triple-formed frame!
Show me the devotions to be done in your name.
Give me the visions.
Give me the sight. 
Guide me, O Goddess, through the night of my life.
Too many choices
Or else too few.
Show me the way which I should choose.
Hail Hekate! 
Leader of the Pack!
Guide me
Guard me
Teach me the Paths.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's enough there that I would change these days that I see there to recognize my growth. I would never ask Hekate to choose for me now. She has taught me that the Choice is mine and will always be mine, and that my courage to face the consequences and to accept responsibility is central to how to live in this world.

And recognizing that I've grown and become a better person as a direct result of Her influence in my life might just be what did the trick.

Khaire, Hekate!

B is for Bast (a case for serious inquiry into the Gods)

Last night I went out with some of my girlfriends, and we were happily plowing through a bookstore. I came across "Gift for the Gods: Images from Egyptian Temples" for 8 bucks! I love getting like-new books for next to nothing.

I'm overjoyed with it. Each item in the text is presented from multiple perspectives, particularly a bronze of Set and a gold statuette of Amun that I have been in love with for years.

"Cougar" by Neheti, 2010 - Cats and Bast, what can I say?

The one figure I didn't see in the book that I'd hoped for was the Goddess Bast.

Bast has been classed as a Goddess of so many things, most of which are erroneous. People ramble that She's the Goddess of Marijuana for goodness sake. *eyeroll* (Hint: She isn't.)

And there we get to a perfect example of one of my least favorite habits that people fall into when it comes to studying the Gods.

I guess the culprit is the structure of most books on mythology. So many of them are structured like so:

Bast (Egyptian): Goddess of Gobbledy-gook.

Well, something like that.

The reality of Gods, of any culture, is that they aren't so easily pigeon-holed.

Bast is one of the Eyes of Ra, a class of Goddesses of ancient Egypt, who serves to protect the world from isfet (uncreation) in the service of Ma'at (order.) She is also associated with perfumes, as evidenced by her hieroglyphics, which includes a perfume jar (bas).

A lot of people make the mistake of writing her name Bastet. The 't' on the end of the name Bast, indicates the fact that She's a Goddess, and with Kemetic words that end in 'et,'  that 'et' serves the same purpose. In a way, using the word Bastet is saying The Goddess of the Bas Jar who is a Woman. It's redundant.

Most modern people associate Bast with the domesticated cat, but a lot of her earlier images show her as a Lioness (which causes a lot of confusion with other Goddesses who have lion forms, like Sekhmet and Mafdet.) But Bast evolved a lot over the span of time of the early Dynasties and the Hellenistic era.

A Goddess with distinct solar attributes (after all She's the Eye of Ra - who is the Sun), by time of the Ptolemies, She was being conflated with Artemis and Selene, and had taken on lunar attributes. She was originally an independent and protective Goddess, but towards the decline of Ancient Egypt, she had come to be known as a Goddess of frivolity and joy. Herodotus shares an unlikely story that the women stand on the banks of the Nile and flash the passersby in Her name.

The complexity of a God doesn't fit easily in any one story or anecdote, and it certainly doesn't fit into a soundbite like what one finds in a dictionary of mythology. Yet that's how people tend to talk about the Gods. Artemis becomes boiled down to the Goddess of the Hunt (which She is, but She's MORE than that.) Bast gets limited down to Her cat features.

Think of learning about a God like learning about a person. It takes time and effort. In the case of a God, it means, for most of us, a lot of studying about the culture that gave birth to them.

If you or I don't fit into a one-line dictionary style definition, how in the world is a deity with thousands of years of history and His or Her own characteristics and personality every supposed to fit into a simple formulaic statement. If hoping for a good relationship with a deity, the least one can do is learn all we can about them.

For more information on Bast, check out the following links:
http://www.per-bast.org/bast/historical.html
http://www.touregypt.net/godsofegypt/bast2.htm

A is for Ancestors

Shadowe, 16 years old and spunky... but dying from Cancer.

This week, I say goodbye to a very busy year. Between saying goodbye to my 16 year old cat, Shadowe, to almost losing my father-in-law, to my very own medical situation, a lot has changed.

This time last year, I was waiting for surgery on my knee, and basically banished from walking without a brace and a cane. Now, three times a week, I'm walking dogs for over an hour. 

There's a lot to talk about with my Beloved Dead this Samhain. Ancestor worship never used to be a big deal with me, when I was younger. I didn't care about them, really, but over the past few years, my ancestors have become a larger and larger part of my practice, and the list of their names, sadly, has been growing steadily over the past few years. 

I suspect that I looked on death as one of those things that would never happen to me, or to those I loved. Or perhaps, in fact, even romanticized it. Probably a bit of both. 

I'm sure some will think I am still looking on it through a special sort of lens. I'm okay with that. 

Ancestor box waiting to be unpacked for Samhain 2010.

On my path, ancestors are worked with only rarely, but thought of, and even given gifts, often. I maintain a box that I designed just for their things. I keep the gifts I have given them, their photos, and obituaries in it. It also holds the centerpiece of my Samhain rite, my litany of names. 

I've been maintaining one for four or five years now, and each years list is in the box, waiting for this year's contribution. When I feel the veil between this world and the next thinning, as it does each autumn, I sit down and work through each name, preparing a new list. The first year, I included all the various Pagans who've died that I felt needed remembered, and that list is monstrously long. Nowadays, I focus on those who've contributed directly to my being. 

On the date of the astronomical quarter, November 7th, I will cast my circle, and remember them. Some of them are just names, but others are ever-present, and remain living in my heart every day. It is that memory, that reconnection with those who gave me my very existence or who have made it wondrous for the years that we shared, that makes Samhain my favorite holiday. 

Thus it is that my Litany of Names always begins with a quote from Helen Keller: 

"What we once enjoyed we can never lose; all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." 

May your Ancestors smile with pride at the life you are living.